Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Hamid and the candy scenario: a debate about the ideal woman in post war Afghanistan.


My room in Herat's Nagin Asia guesthouse, where I could get a good discount after saying six dollars a day was way off my budget. So they asked if three was OK. Hamid, the receptionist helped me to bargain with the manager. In the picture you can see the laptop Hamid used to lend me every night. Over the bed, the open road map of Afghanistan. Those were days of anxiety, before deciding which road to follow...


Hamid (centre) is a student of Chemistry who Spears fluent English and lends me his laptop in order to accomplish my freelance assignments. During my three days stay in Herat we had started those friendship with expiry date you begin while travel. We have talked a lot about different issues, but I was very surprised at his point of view about women. He likes to illustrate his thought didactically with the so calles “candy scenario”. For him, a man who has many different women all through his life ends by loosing his surprise capacity. “It’s like eating too many candies” – he affirms as if he was a playboy. “And what about a woman who has too many men in his life?” – I would ask him, but Hamid didn’t have an answer. In Islam, male transgression is condemnable, but female one is unthinkable. They don’t seem to regard them as naturally able to experience physic desire…. According to Hamid, desire plays no role: the sky will clear and a sun ray will point you the love of your life… And of course she will have been waiting for you too….! In any case, you should ask her father, not her.
I was surprised to fin Hamid’s perspective on women styles so much contaminated by Hollywood movies. I would expect that from anyone in the bazaar, but not from a young from the elite, with a pricey education. “If you could choose, which one would you prefer? –he asked me- a silent, innocent and demure girl, covered with her veil…. or a jerk that laughs as she drinks beer and sits over any man she sees” I was so tempted to admit I was definitely ticking the second box…

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